He was drunk and he broke my heart.

He knew how much I loved horses.

At eight years old, I had been riding for 3 years. My pony was my world.

One night, my parents had a fancy dinner party in their home. This man told me he would buy me my dream horse… A Paso-Fino, which is Spanish for Beautiful Pacer. They were known to be beautiful horses. I dreamed of taking him full gallop, carrying me across the trails and roads of where we lived, in a rural Chicago suburb. I would care for him, and he would be mine.

So everyday I waited. I sat at my kitchen table after school, staring outside the bay picture window, waiting for the trailer to deliver my cherished horse up the driveway. I must have spent weeks waiting at that table, maybe even months, sitting first with hope, and then, still sitting, as it turned into defeat. Raw with my feelings; it would have been wonderful if my Mother, watching me pine for this horse, had said to me. “Oh honey, he was drunk… I’m so sorry, but you are not getting your horse.” But, she never did, and he never showed.

This broken promise cut me open like a knife. Like any exposed wound not sutured, It became infected with the emotional bacteria of self-doubt and unworthiness.

From that moment on, I made an unconscious pact with myself. The way I felt…not heard, with no voice, that I did not matter…I made an agreement, a promise that one day, I would make sure others would never have to feel that way. I did not know how. I did not know when. But I knew it would happen.

You know, the body is a powerful receiver. It gives us clear signals, sometimes reacting as a warning. When predatory power and abusive relationships influence our lives, we need the tools to help us discern if we are in harm’s way. Throughout my life, I’ve come across situations that have challenged my discernment. Along with skilled co-facilitators, I am now dedicated to helping humanity discover the tools to read these distress signals. I help them to do what I have done, to turn wounds into windows, which open to radiaant lives!

As I look back over my life, I am grateful to that little girl because she has guided me through some tough times. It was her pain that helped me find my sanctuary, my forever home. I now get to sit at my dining room table and stare out my bay window and make good on a promise that something VERY special will arrive down my driveway. And, that is exactly what is happening; people are coming from all over the globe! They are coming to learn to keep their promise to themselves. They are coming to be free, to learn how to live a life of awe and wonder. They are learning that THEY matter. YOU matter. Thank you, and God bless.