Nell Rose Foreman

The Power of Post-Traumatic Growth

Nell Rose believes your mind is your greatest tool for success. Using a unique blend of brain science, psychology, and ancient wisdom she helps her clients transform from the inside out.

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As a board certified coach (BCC)(ICF) and master hypnotist (CHT), Nell Rose has helped her clients overcome obstacles and create freedom in their lives using their subconscious mind for over 18 years. She is a thought management expert, rapid change strategist and has dedicated her life to empower her clients to see a new perspective, challenge beliefs that are not serving them and create a life of their highest potential.

She is a successful entrepreneur, Amazon International best-selling author and popular keynote speaker. Her entrepreneurial adventures have included playing laser tag with the creators of the Xbox and Garage Band, ran her own Video Game Design Camp, developed marketing strategies for a company in Vietnam and is the Co-Founder of a non-profit which focuses on world peace,women’s rights, religious rights and overall planetary sustainability. Work with the non profit has included attending events at the United Nations, The Nobel Peace Laureates, and working on projects with Jane Goodall and the Jane Goodall Institute.

“Pain and suffering can break and destroy us or they can crack us open and create growth, love, and strength. We often hear of post-traumatic stress but we forget about post-traumatic growth and how they often exist simultaneously.”

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This is my son’s phone, and I want to share with you what found on it. He was writing a book…

“One cannot truly know if they are strong enough to withstand a great challenge until life seizes and pushes you into the coals of … suffering. At this point, one has two very different options. One is easy, the other is the most difficult thing a person can do. One can either let their new environment consume and destroy them – or allow the intense conditions of their new environment to reforge them into something much stronger than before.”

You may be wondering why I have my son’s phone and why would a 23-year-old be writing about life challenges and resiliency. Well you see, my son Jack no longer needs this phone. He passed away after a brutal 9 month battle with glioblastoma, an insidious brain cancer. We went from celebrating his college graduation and the life he was poised to take, to sitting by his bedside, where I felt completely helpless. Helpless to protect him from the events that were transpiring. He suffered excruciating pain, went through chemo and radiation, had meningitis, learned to walk again, not once but twice, and in total had 12 brain surgeries. Through all of this, the only thing I could do was to lean into my practice of resilience to be present and strong for Jack. I was humbled by how he faced everything with courage and bravery. Days before he transitioned he was asked if he was afraid to die, his reply, “what could there ever be to be afraid of?”

Jack is my hero and my greatest teacher and I will spend my life unpacking all that he taught me. Jack taught us all a new way to live life, he showed us how to live joyfully even when life tries to make it impossible. We had moments of intense happiness and laughter in those months.  We learned joy and pain can be present at the same time. Jack is funny, he made us all laugh. He would sneak pizza when he wasn’t supposed to, he would give advice and encouragement to his friends through their first job interviews, we snuck out of the hospital more than once and never got caught, he would joke and always be polite to the nurses and doctors, he went on dates with his girlfriend, and he even proposed from his hospital bed – she said yes! He taught us to live to our full potential, to follow our hearts, to love fiercely and to not care what anyone else thinks.  While at the moment we thought we were Jack’s rocks to lean on, we learned he was actually our rock that held us steady every single day. He wrote on his phone “you need to be strong for your caregivers so your caregivers can be strong for you.”

In his death, Jack continues to teach me. How we grieve in our culture is broken. The language we use, the time limits, and belief systems that are imposed, and how we are taught to not honor how we are feeling. Losing Jack is not something I will never move on from, and I am more than ok with that. I fold every part of this experience within me and move forward. The extreme moments of our lives are what define us. Pain and suffering can break and destroy us or they can crack us open and create growth, love, and strength. We often hear of post-traumatic stress but we forget about post-traumatic growth and how they often exist simultaneously. Jack’s words point out that the difference is a choice that must be made.

And the greatest expansion in me since he took his last breath is the realization that there is no death at all. The physical body is gone, but the soul, the energy of Jack is still right here he has proven that again and again in wonderful ways. He has been loud from the spirit world, causing me to challenge what I believed, and to open and work towards connection, whereas the traditional thinking of grief focuses on disconnection. He wants us to realize that there is no death and to awaken to who and what we really are.

When Jack was writing the words about reforging into something much stronger, he may not have known then how much I would lean into them for strength and how they would pull me forward every day, even when I am unsure I can or want to go on. Or maybe my son knew exactly how they would help me.

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